About Me

I'll share a little bit about myself.  I'm gay.  I came out of the closet about 2 years ago.  I've been with my husband (not official yet, but we still use the word) for about a year and a half.  He's skinny.  I'm fat.  And I like being fat.  I go back and forth between wanting to be fatter and wanting to be skinnier.  I think it'd be sexy to be ripped and trim.  Sometimes I want both at the same time.  Sometimes I just want one or the other.

But I really do like being fat.  As a young child, I would fantasize about being fat or making other people fat.  I still do that.  In fact, some of my posts will probably be descriptions of these fantasies.  As a teenager, I would eat absolutely everything I could get my hands on, and yet gain no weight.  Up until about age 25 it was virtually impossible for me to gain any weight at all.  I am 6'6" and I weighed 160 at the most.  By age 26, I had gained up to 180 without even trying.  But I didn't think of this as fat at all.  In fact, I just had a tiny little hint of softness around my belly.  And I'd often think about running, like I did in high school, to burn it off.  But I never did.  Well, after browsing online for a bit and realizing that there's such a thing as a "gainer", I decided to try it out.

I was extremely nervous, but at the same time I was ecstatic.  Just thinking about getting fatter gave me such a hard on.  There were times when I couldn't think about anything else, just gaining weight.  I went to a church party where there was lots of food and I ate as much as I possibly could, which was discouragingly little.  I remember times from my teenage years when I could eat 5 or 6 plates of food at a buffet, but in more recent years I haven't been able to eat nearly that much.  I just get full too fast.

There were so many milestones.  So many times when I was ecstatic about my progress.  Every time I outgrew a pair of pants or a shirt, I was so happy (aside from the fact that I had to go buy bigger clothes).  When I started developing love handles, I played with them.  It was great.  I'll never forget the day I first noticed my man boobs jiggle when I walked.  As embarrassing as it was, I got a (mild) erection from that.  It was so hot.  I loved my growing body.  Then, one day I noticed my thighs rub together as I walked.  This was significant for me because up until I started gaining, I could put my legs together and they would only touch at my feet and knees--my thighs wouldn't touch anywhere.  So, it was great to see them rub together.  Now, when I put my legs together, they touch all the way down to my knees, and near the top, there's so much fat that it bulges out in front a little bit.  It makes me so happy to see that.

One of my more recent wins--it didn't happen until after about a year of gaining, and not until I was over 250 pounds--was when I started getting FUPA (fatty upper pubic area).  This was great.  It's like a second belly, kind of.  There's the belt line, where I think my pants keep my belly from growing out too far, my belly above that that hangs over my belt, and my little belly below it that pokes out just a little bit past where my belt line crease is.  It's fun to squish and poke, and of course having my hand already that close to my junk...... ;)

I love touching all over my body and feeling the extra flab.  My ass, my tits, my gut, my legs, my arms, everything.  To me, it's quite an accomplishment.  And I love myself.  I love my new body.  There are times when I want to get bigger, and there are other times when I want to get smaller again.  But regardless of my mood, I always love the way I am right now, and I think that's the most important thing.